Pick a Crime — Inside the Classic

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Francis, Dick [Illustrator], Smith, Richard Rein, 1930- Project Gutenberg 2016 Not confirmed
Science fiction; Short stories; Psychological fiction; Crime -- Fiction Readers of public-domain and historical texts
Project Gutenberg digital edition en

Edition facts

Words 8,927
Reading time 39 min
Text sections 1

Pick a Crime — Inside the Classic can be approached with a clearer sense of reading commitment from its source measurements: 8,927 words, 39 min estimated reading time, and 1 detected text section.

The text analysis averages about 16.2 words per sentence, while the detected sections provide another way to judge how the source is divided.

Project Gutenberg metadata also associates the work with “Science fiction,” connecting these edition facts with the source record’s subject description.

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In a future where CPA robots enforce sobriety and ID cards brand citizens with 'Dangerous Criminal Tendencies,' Joe schemes to get arrested for a minor theft to qualify for a treatment that cures criminality—only to find the cure leaves his hatred muted and his hero status hollow.
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Joe, a man branded with 'Dangerous Criminal Tendencies' on his mandatory CPA ID card, cannot hold a job or get drunk because robot bartenders water his drinks. His solution: commit a clean, petty crime to qualify for a state-run treatment that will 'cure' his criminality. The story opens with him hiring a woman for fifty dollars, flashing his DCT card, and explaining his plan to get arrested for stealing a watch—a crime he hopes will be easy for the CPA to prove.

A World of Robot Enforcers and Branded Citizens

The society Smith builds is one of pervasive surveillance and control. CPA robots serve as bartenders, police, and judges, and every citizen carries an ID card that marks them as safe or dangerous. Joe's DCT status makes him unemployable except for menial jobs like garbage collection. The system is designed to prevent crime and intoxication, but it also creates a class of outcasts. When Joe tries to get drunk, the robot bartender detects his state and waters his drink—a detail that shows how even leisure is regulated. The only way to escape his DCT label is to undergo a treatment that, as the story later reveals, dulls emotions like hatred rather than removing them entirely.

The Paradox of Heroism and Cure

After his treatment, Joe expects to be celebrated as a hero. Instead, Hendricks tells him the crowd is there because he is an 'ex-criminal' who can never commit another crime. Joe's confusion deepens when an old woman thanks him for stealing only a watch, not killing someone. He reflects that murderers get louder cheers. The treatment has left him paler and more relaxed, but he can only summon 'mild hatred' for Hendricks. Smith uses these moments to question what it means to be 'cured'—the system removes the capacity for serious crime but leaves the underlying social stigma intact. Joe's own understanding of heroism remains at odds with the public's relief that he is now harmless.

Tone and Narrative Distance

Smith's prose is direct and unadorned, matching Joe's pragmatic outlook. Dialogue drives much of the exposition, as when Joe explains his plan to the girl or Hendricks mocks his notion of heroism. The narration stays close to Joe's thoughts, revealing his frustration and later his muted emotions. Descriptions are functional: the girl's appearance is cataloged by what she lacks (smaller nose, larger mouth, wavy hair), and Joe's actions are terse ('He gulped the remainder of his drink'). This flat style underscores the story's focus on systems and consequences rather than interiority. The result is a tale that feels like a thought experiment about social control, told through a protagonist who is more a vehicle for the premise than a fully realized character.

The Unreliable Cure and Its Aftermath

Joe's treatment is presented as a success—he can go home, he feels relaxed—but the story undercuts this. He cannot summon the hatred he once felt, yet he also cannot fully accept his new status. The crowd's adulation confuses him, and the old woman's comment lingers. Smith leaves open whether the cure is genuine or merely a suppression of symptoms. The final scene, with Joe eating fudge in Hendricks' car and thinking 'People are funny,' suggests a shallow resolution. The story does not show Joe reintegrating into society or finding purpose; it ends on a note of uneasy acceptance. This ambiguity is the story's strongest feature, inviting readers to question the cost of conformity.

Smith's story is a compact satire of rehabilitation and social control, told through a protagonist who remains opaque even to himself. Readers should pay attention to the gaps between what Joe believes and what the narrative implies—particularly around the treatment's effectiveness and the crowd's motives. The story rewards attention to its small details, like the counterfeit-detector in the girl's purse or the robot bartender's algorithms, which build a world where freedom is measured in degrees of compliance.

Years of shelving have taught me that some stories share a pulse. Joe’s muted crime in that clinical future reminds me of Jean Valjean’s loaf of bread—both men taking small thefts that reshape their souls forever. One finds a cure, the other a bishop’s grace. Les Misérables, v. 1/5: Fantine — Edition Insights holds that older ache, warmer and more patient.

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